PoT drabble #12
Drabble written for:
Series: Prince of Tennis
Characters: Oishi
Genre: Angst, Drama
Title: If You're Gone (519 words)
Note: Catharsis.



If You're Gone

There's a lot to be said for routine, and none of those words express his frustration.

He never imagined how different each day would be. Nearly every moment holds a reminder of what once was, and the pain has long since become a dull ache. It's diminished with time, yet it is never fully absent. More often than not, he finds himself caught in reflection, and each times feels the solitude more acutely than before.

How many weeks has it been? It's not as bad as the first week; that was the worse. Even so, he can't let go of the linger discontent, because to do so would mean that he has set Tezuka out of his mind.

That is something he cannot do.

He climbs the stairs to the bus and moves instinctively towards the back. He sees familiar faces but none of them matter insomuch. It's always a bit louder in the back, and the air is sometimes tinged with smog. However, it's not a high traffic zone, and their duffels stayed out of the way. One duffle takes up even less room than two. He sighs and sits by the window.

They might not have always talked on the ride from school, but it was a companionable silence. Tezuka's presence was enough for him. Sometimes, Oishi wonders if he's been too demanding, or perhaps even selfish. Yet, neither is true. He supports Tezuka's decision, and he believes in the doctors in Germany, but still... it doesn't change the fact that Tezuka isn't here now.

It doesn't change the fact that Oishi misses him.

Most of the time, there are distractions. Classes are filled with lectures, practices are all-consuming, and his evening is filled with homework. He looks out the window. There's a brilliant sun-set painting the sky in vivid reds and golds, but Oishi doesn't see it. Instead, he looks at his lonely reflection and sighs.

The bus rides have become the hardest part of his day.

There's nothing definitive about it. It was just a moment, but one that was a staple to their day. Practice was shared with the team, classes shared with colleagues, but on the bus ride, they were alone. The pain is more acute here, because this moment was theirs.

It's nothing he can express in words because the emotion goes far deeper. It's wistful and remorseful, and sometimes the feeling of futility takes hold, because there is nothing he can do.

Only wait.

His melancholy never last longs, after all life spins on. Oishi sighs once, as he exits the bus. It's only a short walk to his house. He wonders what his mother has cooked for dinner tonight. His backpack is filled with books; exams will be coming up soon. Tennis practice will be harder than ever, and he knows Tezuka will make it back in time for the Nationals. They have a promise after all.

Loneliness is not a permanent state.

Yet, he always misses Tezuka on the bus rides home.

Because, despite everything Oishi believes, those are the moments that seem as if they will never end.

~fin~